Just in case no one has told you today … you are human. Cut yourself some slack. It’s okay to mess up. There is no manual to do life the correct way, and if there was then sign me up. This is your daily reminder that it’s okay if you’ve made a mistake. We all have made a mistake. I know we have all said something that we regretted. Maybe it was hours later, days later, or even years later. Maybe it was the moment the last word left your tongue. Maybe you stayed in the wrong situation for too long or made a decision that cost you dearly. But after the mistake happens and the dust settles, we begin to hold onto it. We replay the mistake in our minds. “What if I said that instead?” “What if I did that?” “Would things have been different?” We begin to treat our mistakes like our own personal criminal records. And we carry the self-blame, guilt, and regret around like it’s a backpack on our shoulders; and the weight begins to become heavier and heavier each time we make a mistake and hold onto it.

I think sometimes we have this illusion in our minds that by punishing ourselves keeps us from repeating the mistake again. However, letting go of a past mistake is not about forgetting or excusing the damage; it’s about recognizing that ongoing self-punishment does not equal accountability. By separating the facts of what happened from the harsh narrative that you may have added because of the mistake we can begin to end the cycle of self-blame.

When we shift from “I should have known better” to “I know better now, and that is where my responsibility ends” we can begin to let go and grow.

Now I know it can be hard but try giving yourself the best friend test. Ask yourself if you would speak to your best friend or a trusted friend the way you are speaking to yourself over the exact same mistake.

You can also try stating out loud what you cannot change and acknowledge the reality of the past without adding a layer of self-inflicted punishment. Remind yourself that suffering and making mistakes are a part of the shared human experience; you are not alone or broken for failing. You can put your hands over your heart or hug your shoulders and repeat to yourself “May I give myself the patience and forgiveness I need right now.”

When we practice letting go, we begin to practice self-compassion. Self-compassion is recognizing that you did something wrong rather than concluding that you are broken or bad; you separate the action from your identity.  It’s never about making excuses or dodging blame; instead, it’s about the emotional safety needed to look honestly at the mistake and say, “I’m sorry” and make amends. With self-compassion we can make self-forgiveness possible and transform the toxic shame into constructive accountability and peace.

Here’s to your good health!

It’s okay not to feel okay.

If you or someone you know has been struggling with their emotions, behaviors, or substance use please reach out to us. We can help you find appropriate tools and services that could help you overcome obstacles in your life. We are here for you. Please contact the Southern Ute Behavioral Health Division at 970-563-5700 for more information or to set up an appointment to see a counselor or therapist.

Reminder: If you need to talk to someone, please reach out.

And for those interested in opioid use education, harm reduction, and support, please contact us for quick Naloxone (Narcan) training and fentanyl test strips. We can schedule individual, family, or friends training times at our Southern Ute Behavioral Health Building, or we can come to you, and the training is around 30 minutes. Please call us at 970-563-5700 to set up a training appointment.