Although some people can ask for help like they are ordering a diet coke at a restaurant, the rest of us can find it just a little bit too difficult. Maybe it is being vulnerable, a fear of hearing, “no” or just the struggle to admit that we need help to begin with. In any case, it can be a challenge as many already know, putting it off can make things worse.
Here are a few reasons people choose to tackle certain things all on their own when help is a simple call or text away.
- Others will judge my shortcomings.
Sure, sure. Although this may be true, everyone has shortcomings and most people recognize we are human. Mostly because they are too.
- I wasn’t raised to rely on others.
Well, that also may be true. But most of us prefer to live in a community and that means we do rely on each other, whether we think we do or not.
- Otherpeople always want to helpon their terms – strings attached.
Although some situations are fraught with opportunity to get free advice or amateur therapy with the help you receive, it is mostly well-meaning. If we fear the perception that we caused our own problems, then we are already ahead of the game. Of course we did. Doesn’t mean we cannot benefit from the whole ordeal with a little help from a friend (or neighbor, or brother, or pastor, etc.).
In case you are struggling in this type of situation, we’ve put together a few tips we hope are useful if you ever find yourself avoiding reaching out to others, for whatever reason.
- Consider what the exact, specificthing isyou need and focus on that. Sometimes it helps others if your request is direct, limited, and specific. If you feel like you need “everything,” maybe narrow it down.
- Be prepared to hear any answer. If someone does need to decline, practice that potential in your mind so you can have a pleasant response and not cause hurt feelings.
- Express gratefulness. Thanks can go a long way. Sometimes, people want that more than any “payback” or reward.
- Build yourself up. Tell yourself you are only human, everyone needs help sometimes, and other such things so you are prepared to reach out without your voice cracking and tears flowing (if you can).
We hope this is at least somewhat helpful and that you might be able to reach out the next time you are in need. Speaking of help…
As always, we at the behavioral health center are here for you if you would like to talk to someone. It’s okay not to feel okay.
If you or someone you know has been struggling with their emotions, behaviors, or substance use please reach out to us. We can help you find appropriate tools and services that could help you overcome obstacles in your life. We are here for you. Please contact the Southern Ute Behavioral Health Division at 970-563-5700 for more information or to set up an appointment to see a counselor or therapist.
Reminder: If you need to talk to someone, please reach out.
And for those interested in opioid use education, harm reduction, and support, please contact us for quick Naloxone (Narcan) training and fentanyl test strips. We can schedule individual, family, or friends training times at our Southern Ute Behavioral Health Building, or we can come to you, and the training is around 30 minutes. Please call us at 970.563.5700 to set up a training appointment.