Namichen  

“Ask for help without shame. Lean on others, stay honest, and show up for your recovery. Addiction affects more people than you realize, and you are deeply loved.” 

My name is Namichen. I am a college student, a member of the Southern Ute Tribe, and someone in active recovery from addiction. 

My journey hasn’t been easy. I started using meth when I was 17, trying to cope with anxiety, depression, and self-harm. Addiction quickly took over, and I began to lose parts of myself until my family stepped in to give me the push I needed to find recovery. They got me into a detox program that helped kick-start my healing process. Although after a month, I checked myself out early, which I truly regret.  

After witnessing the tragic loss of my then boyfriend due to a self-inflected gun shot, I relapsed for two years. Those were some of the darkest years of my life. Navigating life through that loss and relapse, I often found it hard to stay grounded or know how to move forward. There were moments that offered glimpses of hope, but one in particular has always stayed with me. One night, I stayed up until sunrise. As I watched the sun rise, I felt its warmth and love on my face, and then I saw a hawk flying overhead. Later that morning, my mom called to tell me she had prayed for me. I could feel that love. That was the moment I knew I wasn’t alone, and I wanted to change. 

I’ve now been sober for five years. Sobriety has reconnected me with my culture, my spirit, and my family. I dance again at Bear Dance, join my relatives in ceremony, and pray in sweat lodges that heal me from the inside out. I also work with my mom’s Ute Language Revitalization Program, helping teach our youth about their language and heritage. I’ve found the peace I longed for and continue to grow and nurture life again. 

Recovery isn’t linear. My advice to anyone seeking it is simple: don’t give up. Ask for help. You are loved, even when you can’t feel it. You are worth saving, and you are resilient.