It is that time again, and whether you feast on turkey and have 25 of your closest relatives over, or you quietly spend time reading a book and being contemplative – or anything else – it helps to consider your mental and physical health as we head into these holidays.  

Thanksgiving means many things to many people. I know I have tried to learn more and more about the actual holiday and what the circumstances were that lead to this day. I am in awe of the Wampanoag people and how their kindness and generosity essentially saved the lives of the remaining settlers in Plymouth in 1621. And although I know many Indigenous people that choose not to celebrate Thanksgiving, for those that do, it can be a time of family, friends, cheer and gratitude, delicious food, and of course, stress. In some cases, the stress can become larger than the holidays themselves. 

We all know that as we gather together with relatives and friends, and as people start talking more politics, start remembering holidays past, and begin arguing over who cooks what, the stress levels can rise. They can rise and rise and rise. In an effort to support people during these times, I have gathered some tips and skills that may help folks manage their feelings, their stress levels, and their relatives’ many opinions in the best way possible.  

1. Honor the Indigenous Peoples that were represented at the First Thanksgiving and their ways. 

The NDNCollective (NDNCollective.org) specifically suggests to take some time to “Consider the Nations who tended fruit and nut trees.  Imagine the gardens of corn, beans, squash, and sunflowers that were the ecological knowledge of the Wampanoag – the very knowledge that saved the pilgrims from starvation. Consider the songs, the kinship, the lineal seed keepers, and ceremonies that guided Indigenous cosmologies, landscapes and people. Those sacred commitments left no person hungry or without medicine or without worth.” 

Many people may already incorporate their traditional foods – so this one might be fairly easy to accomplish. However, if you do not, consider adding some of the foods of your own ancestors. 

2. If you are in recovery from alcohol or drug use, consider having a written plan.

This essentially means to imagine what stressors usually come up for you and make a plan ahead of time, so you know what to do if you begin feeling stressed. For example, if the family arguing about politics is likely to make you feel angry, you can plan out several things that ease anger for you. Such as walking the dog, putting in the ear buds, saying a prayer, doing yoga that morning, or calling a supportive friend. When we write things down, it can add just a little more commitment to the intention. 

3. For those with eating disorders, the National Eating Disorder Association offers several tips for this holiday on this webpage with examples: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/tips-surviving-thanksgiving-recovery/

These include ideas such as “have a back-up plan, be compassionate with yourself, and set boundaries.” These are all excellent ideas that help you practice real ways to put your recovery first.  

4. For those who cannot be with loved ones, there are alternative ways to get through the day. If you cannot connect virtually,plan ahead to focus energy in some manner.  

• Connect with Nature (if weather permits), get that parka out and walk in the beauty that is around us.
• Focus on others. If you check things out ahead of time, you may be able to volunteer at a local shelter or church for the day. There may be an elder that cannot get out and rake their lawn. Perhaps you are just the person for that. 
• Set yourself up to accomplish a chore. If you must spend the day alone, put on a greatest hits album of your favorites and fix that garage door or paint that bathroom.  
• Plan something with others ina similar situation. You can ask around and see who is in your shoes as well. If you get a few people together in similar situations, it might make it easier for all of you.
• Plan ahead to try a new craft or artistic venture. One year when I was especially low on cash and far from home, I made a felt/multi-media art piece of The Starry Night by Van Gogh. It was not museum-ready, to say the least, but it filled about six hours of time! And it was just plain funny. (Hint: Flour and water does make a good fabric glue). 
• If you are missing a special someone, do something to honor them. It is ok to feel sorrow during the holiday. You are not alone. It can sometimes be helpful to make a spirit plate for those that are passed on or honor the person with a special prayer or object to represent them.  

5. Reconcile the difference between your vision and reality. So, this simply means that sometimes we build holidays into an imaginary event that is too beautiful to be real. If we let go of the idea that it has to be perfect, it can reduce stress immensely. You perfectionists know what I am talking about. It is ok to be realistic. 

6. If you struggle with mental or physical health problems, create space for yourself. Let others know in advance what you need duringhard times. Essentially, find out what is available before the situation arises. You can create a flash card that has difficult symptoms on one side and the things that are most helpful corresponding on the other side. When it comes up, grab your card and try the coping skills you wrote down. Make sure to include self-help groups that are running on holidays. 

If we are having a hard time, it can be hard to admit it. But when we do, if we are able to reach out to someone safe for help it can be a lifesaver. Remember, it is always OK to call 988 if you feel like you are in crisis. Axis Health has walk-in crisis centers as well, in both Montrose and Durango. It is easy to find more information at axishealthsystem.org.  

However you choose to enjoy the holidays, I wish you the warmest regards as you celebrate, and I will be celebrating as well. I hope love and kindness surround you and you can see the giving spirit of others – in the here and now – as well as the generosity and kindness they showed in 1621.  

As always, we at the Behavioral Health Center are here for you if you would like to talk to someone. It’s okay not to feel okay. If you or someone you know has been struggling with their emotions, behaviors, or substance use, please reach out to us. We can help you find appropriate tools and services that could help you overcome obstacles in your life. We are here for you. Please contact the Southern Ute Behavioral Health Division at 970-563-5700 for more information or to set up an appointment to see a counselor or therapist.