Johnathan  

“A strong support system reminds you you’re worth fighting for—until you learn to believe it yourself.”  

My name is Johnathan, and I am a first descendant of the Ute Mountain Ute Tribe. I grew up mostly in Ignacio, surrounded by a big family, culture and community. I always pictured myself growing into a strong father and leader. What I never pictured was addiction taking hold of my life before I even understood what was happening. 

When I was 16, I hurt my back. Surgery was delayed because we didn’t have insurance, so doctors prescribed me pain pills to get by. I took them the way they told me to because I trusted that they knew what they were doing. At 19, I finally got the surgery, but instead of tapering me off, they prescribed even more opioids and told me to keep taking them. I didn’t realize my body had already built a dependency. I thought I was just doing what I was supposed to do. 

Then one day, I decided to stop the medication. The withdrawal sickness hit quickly, but I didn’t even know that word at the time. All I knew was that I needed something to stop the shaking, the sweats, the panic. I started buying pills just to function. My values, my priorities and everything shifted to surviving the day. 

My lowest moment came in a jail cell. My oldest son was just a baby, and he reached for me through the glass. That shattered me. I knew right then and there something had to change.  

I found a doctor who treated me like a human being and helped me get on Suboxone, a medication for opioid use disorder. I had some stumbles at the beginning as I navigated the road to recovery, but I knew I wanted to change for the better not only for myself, but for my family. Today, I’ve been in recovery for more than 12 years.  

The hardest part of recovery hasn’t been the withdrawal or the cravings; it’s the stigma. People saying addiction is a choice. People turning their backs instead of offering help. That judgment keeps too many people sick and silent. 

So I speak up. I stay honest. I stay humble. And every day, I thank my kids because they saved my life before I even knew how to save my own.